AAAANNNNDD - She's Back

Yes it's been a long time.

Spring break is over and things will get back to normal. What is normal? I think everybody's normal is different.

When I asked for help to name my blog I received a lot of great suggestions! I didn't use any of them simply because at the time I was starting the blog I was finally, after 40 years of being a Christian, learning to meditate on the Word of God.

That healing, fulfilling, joyful time of meditating brought me to 2 Timothy 2:1. I was studying (meditating) on hope. When I came to this verse it spoke volumes to me about where I was at. It was a poignant moment for me. It is actually a command to us: be strong in the Grace. And the only place we will find that grace is through Jesus Christ.

Back to my question of what is normal, one of the great title suggestions for this blog was "Unspoken Normalcy". I would say this is an accurate description of the life of anyone, but most certainly of those dealing with FMS and/or depression.

The limitations placed on us by these conditions are varied and plentiful. For example, my husband having to cook, get the kids off to school, grocery shop, and often single parenting of our children became our normal. Not baking, or doing yard work or not taking part in family activities became our normal. And sometimes I didn't separate FMS and depression. To do that would have taken more energy and cognitive ability than I had at the time.

Pain becomes normal. Fighting to keep from succumbing to feeling like you are going crazy becomes normal. Trying to hide how bad things are from your kids and husband and friends becomes normal. How could anybody understand? Why would she be depressed? How much pain could she be in? She doesn't look sick.

Your kids asking why you're tired, why you sleep all the time, why you don't play with them, becomes normal. After a while they just quit asking. You know why? Because it is normal.

Your kids can't have a lot of friends over because it is too overwhelming for Mom and sometimes just the sound of someone drumming their fingers on the table hurts her ears. That's normal - unspoken, but normal.

What can we do? The first thing we can do is COMMUNICATE. You don't have to share with all your acquaintances why you don't volunteer at school or church for example. But to those that care about you and love you, it is easier to share than hide.

On another note, I want to share 3 of the books that have helped me climb the mountain of depression. The first book is by Joyce Meyer - The Battlefield of The Mind. Great for everyday morning devotion. The second is the DVD or CD's of Casey Treat called Renew your Mind, Renew your Life. And the last one, the one that was a trigger to the biggest jump in recovery is the DVD series by Dr. Caroline Leaf - Who Switched off My Brain. You can also get it in book form. However I would recommend the DVD or taking a Connect Course at Springs Church in Winnipeg to better understand it. You can also take the Casey Treat course at Springs Church. In fact, Springs has a number of Connect Courses available throughout the year. They are all free and range from Grief Share to Raising your kids. You don't have to attend the church to take a course. Anyone can take them. Look them up at Springschurch.com to get a full list of courses and dates under the "Church Life" heading.

You'll notice a recurring theme in these books - the mind. We don't have to think every thought that comes into our minds. Over the past couple of years I have learned to think on purpose. I have learned that God has given us the ability to change our brains by changing our thoughts. It's not always easy. And it's not just about quoting scripture although we do need to declare the promises of God with our mouths. As stated in Dr. Caroline Leaf's book, "God gives us all of the tools and principles that we need in Philippians 4:8" And the result of using those tools is in the next verse, verse 9.

It's not just God telling us to NOT think of unpure things, from a spiritual stand point. Once you see how the brain processes a bad thought, you will realize the effect our thoughts have on the chemicals in our brain. He is giving us this tool because it effects our physical bodies as well as our spirit and soul.

Alright - that's enough for today.

Until the next post.....